I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
