writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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