wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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