So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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