I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
