At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
