so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
