Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i will never coherently bang her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize