He is like the real live version of the state fair..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
