dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
