I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
