Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
one two three fourrrrnication!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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