Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
