God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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