$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
