Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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