as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
