3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
