Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
