note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
