it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize