kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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