i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
