I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
