i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am puke
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
