I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
