Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
