I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize