I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
