I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
