told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Mom said you looked used
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
