But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize