think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
