piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
