Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
