how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
