so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
