also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
