Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
