Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
