I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
