If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
