this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
