I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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