i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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