Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
