obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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