I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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