what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
