I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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