It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
