I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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