you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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