Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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