3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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