he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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