I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize