I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
