She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
