I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You were trust falling into bushes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
