Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I skipped work to stalk him.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
