i jhust puked up my retainher.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize