God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
